Turning Pain Into Purpose: My Story of Loss, Healing, and Helping Rural Men
Losing My Father to Suicide Changed My Life Forever
I’ve had more than my fair share of accidents - cars, motorbikes, even aircraft. Some people called me accident-prone, others said I was just lucky to still be here. But none of those close calls came close to the hardest moment of my life: losing my dad to suicide.
I was 15 when Dad had a horse accident that left him with a brain injury. He went from being a strong, stoic, unstoppable rural man to someone who doubted his worth. I watched him struggle for years, and it broke something inside me to see him believe he was a burden.
On December 5th, 2005, I was 21 years old when I got the call. Dad had taken his own life. In that moment, my world collapsed. The man who had guided, protected, and pushed me to be my best was suddenly gone.
Growing Up Bush Tough (and Accident-Prone)
As a kid, I was the classic wild bush kid - horse accidents, car rollovers, you name it. We were taught to just brush it off and keep going. That toughness carried me, but it also left me without the tools to deal with what was coming.
The Day Everything Shattered
Hearing the words “your father shot himself” was like being punched in the chest and left with no breath. I dropped to my knees. Numb. Lost. Broken.
Ten Years of Self-Destruction
For the next decade, I spiraled. I hurt myself and others. I crashed aircraft and walked away when I shouldn’t have. I didn’t care if I lived or died, because inside, I already felt dead.
Why Rural Men Struggle With Mental Health
I’ve thought a lot about why my dad - and so many rural men - get to the point of suicide.
The Hidden Cost of Stoicism in the Bush
We’re taught to be tough, never show weakness, and just get on with it. But that kind of stoicism comes at a cost. It stops us from reaching out before the pain becomes too much.
Why Isolation and Silence Make It Worse
Rural life can be lonely. When you feel like you’re failing your family, your farm, or yourself, silence becomes dangerous.
The System Failed My Dad (and Too Many Others)
Instead of tools to rebuild his mind, Dad was given pills and told to avoid alcohol. That might sound sensible, but it stripped him of his social connections and didn’t give him answers. He needed solutions, not sedation.
From Talk to Tools: Building a Better Way Forward
After losing Dad, I made it my mission to find every tool, training, and modality I could. I didn’t want another man to go through what he did.
What I Learned From 15 Years of Searching
Healing isn’t about forgetting the pain - it’s about facing it, learning from it, and growing through it.
Why Men Need Solutions, Not Just Conversations
Most blokes don’t want to sit around and talk about problems forever. We want answers. We want ways to take action.
Tools and Support Networks That Actually Work
The right tools - breathing practices, mindset strategies, emotional release, strong networks - save lives. They give men the ability to face their pain instead of being crushed by it.
How Rural Masterminds Was Born
Rural Masterminds came out of my own healing journey and the gaps I saw in men’s mental health support.
Creating Safe Spaces for Men to Heal
I wanted to build spaces where men could drop the mask, speak honestly, and not be judged.
Camps, Masterminds, and Practical Tools
From Pinnacle Pete Men’s Camp to Freedom Quest and our mastermind programs, everything we do is about action, connection, and tools that work in the real world.
Why Connection Saves Lives
When men realise they’re not alone - that others have walked the same path - it changes everything. Connection is the antidote to isolation.
You Are Enough: A Message to Any Man Who Feels Like a Burden
If you’ve ever felt worthless, hopeless, or like a burden - I need you to know it’s not true. It’s a lie your pain tells you.
If You’re Struggling, You’re Not Alone
Every day in Australia, six or seven men take their own lives. Each of those deaths sends shockwaves through families and communities. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
Support Is Out There (and Closer Than You Think)
Whether it’s a mate, a mentor, a retreat, or a network like Rural Masterminds - support exists. You don’t have to do it on your own.
How to Reach Out and Start Your Healing
If you’re reading this and hurting, start small. Reach out. Ask for help. Book into a program. Find your network. Take one step. It might just save your life.
Final word: My dad didn’t have the tools. That’s why I’ve dedicated my life to creating them. If you take nothing else from this story, take this: you are worthy, you are needed, and you are enough.
